1. Let yourself be sad
Someone has broken your heart. Let yourself grieve. This may involve crying at regular intervals, staying in bed all day, eating or not eating, and binge-watching romantic television shows while sobbing that love isn’t real anyway. Sadness is a normal emotion, and sometimes you have to really explore it in order to move on. Don’t feel an immediate pressure to ‘get over it’ or ‘get angry’. That only happens with time.
2. Reach out to your friends
Lean in to your friendships. Your friends love you and want to be there for you. Don’t feel like a burden (and if you do, consider what you’d do for them, if the situation was reversed). Reach out and communicate your feelings. Accept cuddles and takeout and unconditional affection, because you deserve it.
3. Get out of the house
While grieving is a necessary part of the process, don’t become a hermit. Leave the house, get fresh air, remember to exercise and connect with the world. Try something new: join a gym, sign up for a pottery class, or volunteer somewhere. Throw yourself into your hobbies; remind yourself that you have interests outside of that failed relationship.
4. Take small steps
Do the laundry. Buy groceries. Work your way through that ‘to-do’ list you’ve been avoiding forever. Little achievements make you feel normal (and successful) again when you’re finding bigger tasks (finishing your PhD, writing that essay) impossible. Being kind to yourself and not expecting too much of yourself is key here. Don’t set yourself up to fail, because then you’ll beat yourself up and feel so much worse.
Remember: you can access Counselling Support from the University of Adelaide’s Student Life if you need to talk to a mental health care professional. See more information here. Alternatively, your doctor can refer you to a psychologist and sign you up for a Medicare Mental Health Care plan to assist with the costs.